Farewell Torrentz.eu 2003-2016

A sad day it was. The day I could no longer search. Dumbfounded, confused, I tried repeatedly and each time no results displayed. Something is clearly wrong and I was bothered. Only on the desperate last search did I see the words. So accustomed to seeing a list of results that on first view I didn’t bother to read. The brief and sweet send off read:

Torrentz will always love you. Farewell.

Search results returned a simple message:
Search results returned a simple message: Torrentz will always love you. Farewell.

Returning to the homepage it was clear that the message was there all along and I simply refused to believe it. Is it rational and mentally sane to cry over a website? I don’t care. I nearly did.

Torrentz was a free, fast and powerful meta-search engine combining results from dozens of search engines

Torrentz.eu shuts down
Torrentz.eu shuts down referring to itself in past tense on its homepage.

The site shut down a couple of days ago. And I’m still in shock.

Dangers of Celebrityhood

Io La Conoscevo Bene [1965] 00hh39mm51ss
Still from Antonio Pietrangeli 1965 film Io La Conoscevo Bene, 00hh39mm51ss
Io La Conoscevo Bene 01hh47mm49ss
Still from Antonio Pietrangeli 1965 film Io La Conoscevo Bene, 01hh47mm49ss

She had ambition. She had short lived desires. Ambition intertwined with desire. The tangle delivered her to lower social encounters each night.

Perceptions revealed to her too late. She committed to reaching her ambitions. Outcast to the margins she kept her smile.

First Look is Free and You Know Something Honey

Still of Brenda the Waitress SNL Skit with Jan Hooks and Alex Baldwin
Still frame of Jan Hooks and Alex Baldwin in Brenda the Waitress SNL Skit.

Maya Rudolph, in a women of SNL episode, introduced what I  knew then only as the diner skit with Alex Baldwin, but what I know now correctly as the Brenda the Waitress skit with Jan Hooks and Alex Baldwin. The acting is spot on and dialogue is fluid and infectious. Amusing and charming altogether.

Like the original introduction on SNL via Hulu, the recent episode hosted by Bill Hader spread news of Jan Hooks’ passing with a showing of a tender skit of her and Phil Hartman dancing.

Brenda the Waitress SSaturday Night Live Thumbnails
Thumbnails of the entire Brenda the Waitress SNL skit.

Enjoyable even after the twentieth view. Watch it here.

An Introvert’s Art Fantasy and Mine As Well

Vivian Maier’s story is well told in Who Took Nanny’s Pictures? a BBC documentary and a New York Times article does a fine job of explaining recent developments of Ms. Maier’s after life. And since there is virtually nothing more I can add other than opinion, well, that’s what I intend to offer.

Watch the documentaries and read the article and in perfect stride mine and any other opinion will unfold.

She was a nanny and took videos and pictures of children – chronicling their lives – because only children want that level of attention. They want to be noticed. Anyone else would simply become annoyed. Children are tremendously expressive and genuine. Capturing tender intimacy is a great satisfaction. The camera was perhaps the only she could experience it.

A recluse. A loner. A recluse loner. The children, now adults, say she had a dark side. Anger directed at people for their flaws and less than genuine nature. They weren’t pure of heart or purpose.

Vivian Maier
Screen capture of photo of Vivian Maier on BBC Imagine Vivian Maier: Who Took Nanny’s Pictures?

I would have liked Vivian Maiers. We share a few habits like not giving people our real names and not inviting people into our lives. We’re around people but absent simultaneously. Simply detached and avoiding attention.

Joel Meyerowitz in both films explains Vivian Maier’s likely psyche and it’s on point. Yes, her photos are very good, but I find more interest in her life story and am in great awe.

Perhaps she never found someone to confide in or who shared her sensibilities. That is so important in life. Or maybe the people around her, the families who shared their lives with her, where just too shallow. There’s a point in one of the films, cannot remember which one, where there is mention of Vivian identifying with the poor. Indeed she was poor and seeing the lives of these rich families probably helped harden the distaste and judgement she had about their lives and priorities. There’s an unfairness about life. After all, she obviously didn’t place importance on material possessions. Can you just imagine a servant, which she practically was, listening to the conversations of a well off husband and wife? Inconsequential worries and discussions. a world removed. More ANGER!!! that these people are so blind and self absorbed. She knew, had to have known, that she was disposable to the families. Here, take care of our children, share their early childhood lives and then kindly get out of our house and find your way economically; you you nanny. We don’t need you anymore. Door closes and the family moves on.

She wasn’t accepted. And not that she wanted to, but when accepted you have control to say no i don’t want to be accepted. And it is you that decides who can accept you. However, this only works for the rich and powerful. The poor pushed aside, unacknowledged. It doesn’t matter if you want to decide to be accepted because you don’t matter. I’ll find another nanny thank you.

But finally those people still alive can now rightfully understand her and how she towers over them. She’s won! She knew everything about these families and they knew nothing of her. what little they knew was all wrong. the control was her’s. The massive amount of work and quality simply overshadows these families. She is rich and now they are the poor. They are wiped away – erased. And while she may have been someone who they forgot, Vivian Maier will continue to live and these people will be forgotten. She’s achieved a mighty sweet revenge.

Viewing her work i wonder how did she get the focus just right and the image so clear and not blurred. Amazingly it was just pictures, but also video and newspaper clippings and audio tape recordings that she created. A pack rat of the highest order she apparently stored receipts and papers, letter, all manner of items. It’s interesting that one object, one thing, however invaluable suddenly gains value the more of it you have. The quantity of something grows into a collection and the value is in its variety and similarity. Maybe its simply the patience of collecting mundane objects that when grouped in large amounts bursts into something of value. Through the quantity emerges and glow an aura of interest and uniqueness.

Sold my Nikon several years ago during a trough in my life. I’m shopping for a camera now.

The time period seems to add to the surprise of her photos. A curiosity of the way things were. It’s essentially a complete documentation of her life. And that is wonderful.

Return of the GDR Stasi: You And The NSA. Congrats!

Archie’s birthday is next Friday. John, bring the soda pop. Nancy, don’t forget to place the  personalized cake on order. Any decorating volunteers? Um, ok Tracy. It’s yours. And Timothy, you’ve got to keep Archie away until around 7pm. Watch for a text from me. I’ll let you know when things are clear to bring him home. Yes, bring Archie home.

Surprises are great. The more unlikely, the better the surprise. The more secret, equally better the surprise. To watch it all and know it all and be involved in it all. Nothing will surprise you, but just wait for the surprise you’ll give them! Fun isn’t it. To see, but not be seen. To hear, but not be heard. Like the joy of successfully hiding behind the door or beneath blankets. Holding in your excitement and the few giggles that might escape like an air bubble leaving your mouth underwater. Not be noticed or caught when you intend makes anyone giddy. You’ve pulled the wool over someone’s eyes and maybe even used it to you manipulative advantage. The rush is tremendous with a bit invincibility.

Look at us. Nearly everything we enjoy involves silent participation. Quietly observing and judging all before us. The mass media of movies and television shows. The radio! We’re passive participants watching, listening to the lives of others. Enjoy it we do. Again and again. Rather addicting is the feeling of knowing something the other doesn’t – along the lines of asymmetrical information. And so I wonder have we all become a hipster version of the Stasi of East Germany? Strong comparison perhaps. What’s so very interesting about passively following others through their day-to-days and thinking it is normal? And then when it’s revealed that someone – the NSA – has been using us as their entertainment it now becomes wrong. No, illegal. But of course, one is entertainment and other is real life though the fundamental act is no different.

These thoughts formulated after re-watching The Lives of Others. A well deserved round of applause with a hearty pat on the back delivered with a smile. This goes out to you society, the American public, for being so righteous and dishonest with yourselves. Who are you, really?