Mental Sanity

Mental sanity is important and under appreciated. A open conversation on the topic is rare because of the potential perception of being associated with the unbalanced that crowd at the edges of society and respectable conduct.

However, I submit, to anyone open to listening, that it is an exercise needed for all of life’s stages. And not just for adults, but for all ages.

Sanity, I’ve found, is not a heavy object that can be muscled into being righted. No, it is an outlook on the world and situations and circumstances that only a perception change can correct. And to reach a new perception sometimes requires persuasion or learnings. It develops incrementally and blossoms into the person’s new reality.

The new perception, being a product of the mind, is powerful and once obtained is the filter through which all things are processed.

Mental sanity should be taken seriously with genuine efforts to mold and calm and cleanse our minds of unhealthy thoughts that seep into our behavior unknowingly.

First Snow Day

Snow arrived this morning.

Not at the apartment. And not at the bus stop.

On the first bus to the subway the streets turned white.

At First It Seemed like dust or sand swirling. But then white droplets replacing rain fell.

The snow accumulated more and more on approach to the subway station on Bloor Street.

Get to Work Earlier

After procrastinating all morning and the afternoon I arrived at the office ready to pay off my work debt for the next five hours. And that I did.

The sound of the door opening frightened the sole person in a cubicle on a Saturday late afternoon. All I could see was everything above the halfway point of their eyes.

Working on a single document for duration of my stay generated a professional anger in realizing the depths of my debt. Ordered Pizza Nova for a second time and it was good.

Returning at night and it feels good. I think I’ll return on tomorrow.

The next time is not always the next.

Buy a Raincoat

It rains in Toronto. But lightly. It’s a polite rain and each raindrop seems to say sorry and excuse me and feels embarrassed to exist. Note: Picture taken the next day in the morning commute to work. The rain has friends: wind and cold. Alone each friend is not at its best but together the trio are dynamic and powerful. Buy a raincoat. The rain is also shy. It arrives and hangs around but never long. It’s polite in this way. But the rain still visits. Buy a raincoat. A raincoat that isn’t bulky. That’s packable in it’s own case. And one that’s lightweight.

The TTC in the evening is a good place to write. Less crowded and more noise and people just want to get home. And more laughing. She says:

Ahhahahahh. That’s hilarious. A whole hour. One more hour.

In No Mood, but for Pizza

So hungry. The kind of hungry where you feel the lining of your stomach. I can feel the empty.

The powerful acids with nothing to do. Still and unmoved. Waiting for bait. Unused.

(Writing this the next morning.)

FreshCo, the local grocery market two blocks from the apartment, was the real stop. With $10 CAD purchased tomatoes, avocado, box of cookies, and bag of thin spaghetti from an unknown to me brand.

The box of cookies didn’t make it to the next morning.

The next morning I had a late start and got a sense for how many people can fit uncomfortably/comfortably in a standard sizes bus.

It was cold, a bit windy, and drizzling rain this morning.

Home Internet Speed Test

My latest network check: 95.1Mbps download, 9.6Mbps upload. Via #GoogleOn

Speed test on Pixel using Google Wifi app connecting to Google Wifi device. 

Farewell 2003-2016

A sad day it was. The day I could no longer search. Dumbfounded, confused, I tried repeatedly and each time no results displayed. Something is clearly wrong and I was bothered. Only on the desperate last search did I see the words. So accustomed to seeing a list of results that on first view I didn’t bother to read. The brief and sweet send off read:

Torrentz will always love you. Farewell.

Search results returned a simple message:
Search results returned a simple message: Torrentz will always love you. Farewell.

Returning to the homepage it was clear that the message was there all along and I simply refused to believe it. Is it rational and mentally sane to cry over a website? I don’t care. I nearly did.

Torrentz was a free, fast and powerful meta-search engine combining results from dozens of search engines shuts down shuts down referring to itself in past tense on its homepage.

The site shut down a couple of days ago. And I’m still in shock.